Reveals have gone up for the ownficfest, so I can now take responsibility for inflicting a non-magical Parliament/cricket/coffeshop fic on fandom. \0/

A huge, huge, huge thank you to those of you on my flist who pointed me in the right direction for cricket info. I ran up against the deadline in writing this fic, so I actually snipped the plot I'd developed in half at an appropriate point, which means for the couple of you who've poked me, yes, there will be a sequel at some not-so-distant point down the road and (in response to cursive's insistence that she wanted more cricket, dammit) I can say definitively that cricket will become even more of a plot point. *g*

Title: Black Coffee on a Lonely Night
Pairing: Harry/Draco, past Draco/Astoria
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: non-magical AU, bisexuality
Word Count: ~21,600
Summary: Draco owns a café in the city. Harry's a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato.
Author's Notes: Written for the 2009 ownficfest. Much love to cursive and noeon for their support and their suggestions. Many thanks also to my flist for advice regarding cricket and to the highly informative UK Parliament website, and a huge thank you to tray_la_la for the opportunity to write this.

( The day my wife dies, I'm half a world away, having my cock sucked in the filthy loo of a Brisbane pub. )

This fic is also archived on my Dreamwidth fic journal, An Archive of Our Own, and Skyehawke.



Download a PDF version of this fic.

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Addendum: When I started writing this fic, I commissioned glockgal for art to accompany it. She came up with the following gorgeous picture that proved to be the inspirational push I needed to finish the story. \0/

( Glockgal's illustration )

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This entry was originally posted at http://femmequixotic.dreamwidth.org/435491.html. You can comment here or there using OpenID.

I wrote this for bethbethbeth's birthday a few weeks ago and just realized I hadn't posted it anywhere outside of her birthday comm since.

So since there are a few people on my flist who might like a wee bit of Snaco porn, here you go. :) Do note the warnings and the title--there is definitely pot smoking involved. *g*

Off to watch an episode of Leverage and then maybe go to bed early....

Title: Reefer Madness
Author: Femme
Pairing: Snape/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~ 3,500
Warnings: Um...Draco (that warning would be for Cordelia *g*), semi-epilogue compliance (in other words, Snape aten't dead \0/), established relationship, slightly pervy portraits, the humiliation of teenagers, and unabashed pot smoking.
Author's notes: A huge thank you to supergrover24 for beta services, and a happy, happy birthday to Beth. *hugs*

( I found this in Scorpius's room. )

OMG, I suck. I can't even write a proper drabble for a pinch-hit Drabblethon entry. /0\ Ah well. Fuck it. :D

This one's for Noe. *hugs*

Title: Fairy Cakes
Recipient: noeon
Prompt: Draco cupcakes "Potter" sticky
Word count: 893. Okay, really. Even when pinch-hitting, I fail at drabbling. /0\
Rating: PG-13ish?

Harry’s tired when he Floos into the flat.

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My previous Drabblethon entry is here. And let's face it, this is me. They're both Harry/Draco. :D

Okay, so I just posted my "drabble" for the Cats' Birthday Drabblethon. Let's just all accept the fact that when it comes to drabbling I FAIL LIKE A FAILING THING, okay? This puppy ended up being 1,664 words. We'll just say it's 16.5 drabbles. *nodnodnodnod*

Anyway. Should you care to read it.... (Also note that it's in three consecutive comments, so make sure you read all three or you might be confused at the end of the second one. *cough*)

Title: Drunkenness Is Nothing But Voluntary Madness
Recipient: stormwynd
Prompt: Draco sleeps with either Ron or Harry but can't remember which one.
Word count: 1,664. I am so damn glad the cats can’t count because I FAIL at drabbling.
Rating: NC-17
A/N: Title from a quote by Seneca.

I’ve lost track of how many drinks I’ve had.

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Also while you're there, read the one written for me by cheshyre! It's an actual, you know, drabble and it's AWESOME. *hearts Slytherin Pansy* \0/

Wow, I'm like massively behind on posting things and answering comments. Apologies. I've been prostrated sick pretty much since Sunday...yesterday I slept a total of 20 hours. \0/ And I'm still tired. /o\

But now I'm trying to catch up with fandom. Which means this weekend is going to be spent answering feedback on holiday fest fics. *feels guilty for being late with that*

I still have to post my yuletide fic, but for now, here's my smutty_claus fic, and I just have to say in regards to the fic I received which was the most perfect Snape/Tonks fic EVER, bar none and if you haven't read it yet, what the hell are you waiting for: HAH, djinnj I KNEW IT WAS YOU NO ONE ELSE WOULD WRITE ME RUSSIAN CRIMINAL TATTOOS. So here, everyone should go read this NOW if you haven't. Rosemary and Blue Heliotrope. It is awesome.

And here's my contribution, written for bethbethbeth. :)

Title: Monna Innominata
Author: Femme
Pairing(s): Narcissa/Lucius, Snape/Narcissa, Snape/Narcissa/Lucius
Summary: Lucius returns from Azkaban.
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~11,450
Warnings: rimming, mild dub-con, voyeurism, semi-public sex, infidelity
Author's notes: Many thanks to ze_dragon for the beta and encouragement. Written for bethbethbeth for smutty_claus 2007. Title cheerfully swiped from Christina Rossetti.

( Narcissa barely recognises her husband when he staggers into the set of guest rooms His Lordship has relegated her to, leaning heavily on Severus’s shoulder. )

Story may also be read here on The Archive At The End Of The Universe.

So merry_smutmas reveals are up and I can squeal and fangirl sherant for my SPECTACULAR art, A Snaco VIgnette, which is the most awesome thing EVER.

And I can now admit, yes, Virginia, I didn't write Snape/Draco this year. *g*

I intended to. I really did. And then I happened to stumble across a little blog called Belle de Jour, which happened to be the basis of some little show on ITV this year called The Secret Diary of A Call Girl, and suddenly I happened to get hit by the biggest plotbunny ever...which happened to be Harry/Draco. Yes, I was as surprised as anyone. :)

I devoured Belle's blog, digging back through several years of entries and the more I read, the more I liked her and the more I realized that I could totally adapt her story for an unabashedly unashamed rentboy Draco. I should note that Belle's blog itself was my primary source, rather than the TV show or the book based on the blog, and if you have an afternoon or two or three to while away in her archive, I highly recommend it. She's charming and witty and smart and entirely unashamed of her choice of profession. It's a delight to read.

This was one of my favourite fics this year to write--possibly one of my favourite fics ever. And definitely one of my favourite Dracos. So thank you so very much to charlotteschaos for the opportunity to write this story. It was a world I thouroughly enjoyed immersing myself in.

And to everyone who rec'd this little fic o' mine? Thank you. :)

Title: Kiss A Boy In London Town (And Other Intimate Misadventures of A Society Whore)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: Things would be so very different if I owned them.
Summary: There's only one cardinal sin for a whore.
Warnings: Prostitution, semi-epilogue compliant
Notes: Many thanks to goseaward, supergrover24 and ze_dragon for their betas and to gmth for all her years of hard work with Smutmas, et merci beaucoup, Belle de Jour. Written for charlotteschaos in Smutmas 2007.

(Call me a whore. )

Story is also available at The Archive At The End of The Universe if you'd rather read it off Skyehawke.